Motor Trend and Automobile Magazine name the Nissan GT-R “Car of the Year”

It was an unremarkable but pleasant day this past weekend. I have sumptuously managed to wake up at 1:29 in the afternoon, a feat exceeded only by the previous day’s record of 1:40 P.M. After developing an exceedingly unhealthy outlook on life due to screaming an inordinate amount of abuse at my ancient, mentally diseased Windows ME Edition computer, I got the mail.

Sifting through the usual crap, my spirits are lifted by a little red envelope, courtesy of Netflix. I lifted something away and am pleasantly surprised to see that my Motor Trend has arrived.

Allow me to distill the next few nanoseconds of information processing: I first notice the cool futuristic green background of the magazine, I then identify the hideous Nissan GT-R on the cover, then my eyes flick up to: “CAR OF THE YEAR”. My eyes flick back down. They flick up to the top, to reaffirm that this is indeed Motor Trend. They then repeat their first two flicks.

“NOOOOOO! STUPID MOTHER F%$@#ER!”, I scream and hurl my magazine at the far wall, the sheer velocity ripping it to shreds. What I really do is just stare. And sigh.

If my previous sentences have not yet enlightened you to the fact that I dislike the Nissan GT-R, then here it is: I dislike the Nissan GT-R.

The main reason is because it is ugly. “Nissan has built the world’s ugliest, oversized electric shaver” states a MT editor, and I concur. But that would be like saying I don’t like the Toyota Camry, or the Chrysler Sebring. “Not liking” is not synonymous with “dislike”.

The other is that for some reason, I am inherently predisposed to dislike anything that everyone else adores. Example: when people herald BMW’s 3 Series, I champion Cadillac’s CTS. I also have strong feelings about “herd animals” (the kind of person who will mindlessly park next to you in an empty parking lot). I especially hate those fanatic brand-whores, the ones that flock to whatever has their specific badge, just because it bears that badge.

That sort of thing.

Most GT-R maniacs I’ve met are those cultists who know pretty much zip about the car. They don’t know the performance, the price, or any of the statistics. In a way they remind me of the BMW worshippers— even put the badge on a Pontiac Aztek and the faithful will come.

So I sit down and try to determine exactly why the GT-R wins (it was also Automobile Magazine’s Automobile of the Year). Can it be that my admittedly stubborn disposition is contaminating the realm of rational thought? Can the biased media be unbiased in their choice? Can the common cow or sheep have been right all along about automotive excellence? Well let’s find out. To the disliker of the GT-R, you may wish to re-evaluate the intensity of your feelings due to the following facts. Or not. To the crazed GT-R devotee who dreams perverted dreams of a GT-R , the following will only serve to reaffirm your sniveling love (and may even enlighten you to the facts).

First off, I must give props to Nissan for creating one of the few Japanese cars that look like they deserve to be sold. I certainly don’t think the GT-R is pretty, but Nissan’s Hiroshi Hasegawa, the chief product designer, deserves a stupendous and standing round o’ applause for shattering the mold and producing a controversially designed car (for whenever there is controversy, it means that said design is interesting enough to merit it). In an age of public opinion when “car” + “Japanese” invariably equates to “Prius”, having a sports car that looks the part certainly is refreshing.